Having a pet that doubles as an extra limb can be sweet, but when that overly attached sidekick starts chewing through your shoes, leaving “gifts” in the living room, and insists on being your bathroom bodyguard, it’s less adorable and more… exhausting.
That’s when pet parents need to understand what’s really going on: separation anxiety. Knowing the why behind the clinginess can help you prepare for what to expect—and save a few pairs of shoes along the way.
Separation anxiety is more than just a case of “missing their favorite person”. It’s a common behavioral disorder in both dogs and cats, characterized by excessive distress and anxiety when separated from their primary caregivers.
There are several reasons why separation anxiety can develop, including:
- Attachment & Bonding: Pets form strong emotional bonds with their humans. When left alone, they may feel abandoned or unsafe.
- Change in routine: Sudden changes (new job hours, moving homes, divorce, etc.) can trigger insecurity.
- Trauma or loss: Pets that were rehomed, abandoned, or lost their previous guardians are more prone to anxiety.
- Boredom or lack of stimulation: When under-stimulated, pets can become restless and distressed.
- Breed/personality: Some pets are naturally more sensitive or clingy, making them more likely to struggle with alone time.
If you love your Labrador acting as a second skin, more power to you. But for some pet parents, never having a moment alone can start to take a toll on what is supposed to be a special and fun relationship. If you’re starting to spot the signs of separation anxiety, or if you’ve forgotten what it’s like to sleep without snoring that isn’t your own, here are a few tips and tricks that may help your pet gain a little independence.
- Practice gradual desensitization
- Start by leaving for short periods (even a few minutes), and slowly increase the time away. This teaches your pet that you always come back.
- Create positive associations
- Give a special treat, a toy, or a chew only when you leave. May we suggest a CUDDLY Lick Mat? It’s both mentally stimulating and delicious!
- Keep goodbyes and greetings calm
- Avoid making a big fuss when you’re leaving or returning. This prevents reinforcing the idea that departures are scary or dramatic.
- Try to exercise before you leave
- A tired pet is a calmer pet! A long walk, a play session, or mental enrichment before leaving helps reduce anxiety.
- Use comfort cues
- Leave behind an item with your scent on it (shirt, blanket, etc.)
- Consider seeking help in severe cases.
- Severe cases may require working with a trainer or veterinarian. Vets can also suggest a calming aid or medication if anxiety is extreme.
If separation anxiety is beginning to wear on your relationship, remember, your blanket doesn’t have to be community property. A healthy bond with your pet is built on mutual love and respect, which means you don’t have to sacrifice all your private time to meet their needs. With patience, consistency, and the right strategies, you can help your pet build confidence and independence, while still keeping all the cuddles that make the relationship so special.
